Colby Red - A Walgreens Exclusive

Yes, I'm back on the Walgreens alcohol. At least this time I spent more than $3.50. Not much more, but it also went to a good cause (aside from getting me drunk). From Colby Red's website: "COLBY’S MISSION: To raise research dollars from the sale of each bottle of Colby Red by supporting charities that promote heart health." So yeah, I get to get drunk and promote heart health. Take that, you other wino's with whatever you are drinking that isn't this!

Back when Walgreens introduced Walgreens Beer, they also announced some shit about wines. Naturally, I have to try it. Again, I wish it was just called Walgreens Wine, but it's called Colby Red, and it's not really made by Walgreens anyway. They just get to sell it. So Walgreens...start making wine and call it Walgreens Wine. Anyway, here.

Look at that. It's going to be wine-tastic. Every article I find about this wine describes it with this sentence, most of which is just taken from the Colby Red website.

"The 2009 Colby Red is a flavorful California cuvée of cabernet sauvignon, zinfandel, shiraz, merlot and petite sirah from select Treasury Wine Estates vineyards, retailing for $12.99."

I got mine for $9.99. This makes up for the missing can of Big Flats 1901.

Don't you just want to dive into it's dark redness?

Being that I know jack shit about wine, I won't bother to describe the taste or say whether I think it is good or bad. It tastes like wine, which I am able to consume without problem.

But that makes for a boring ending to this post. I didn't just drink this wine. I drank this wine while painting myself drinking the wine. When I started drinking, I also started painting. I've been wanting to give watercolors another go, since I haven't used them in at least 5 years. So I also bought some supplies for that.

(PICTURE NOT AVAILABLE)

And because drinking and painting doesn't occupy enough of my attention, I had to put on a dvd. After much consideration as to what that dvd should be, I decided that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was the perfect wine-painting party for one, because of course I have that dvd. So I put on the movie and started painting.

(PICTURE NOT AVAILABLE)

I finished my awful picture way before the movie was over. I still have an hour left. If I'd picked a 90 minute movie, I could say that the timing was perfect. I didn't. Anyway, here's the painting.

So, as you can see, that's me. I'm riding my favorite unicorn (Kazaam) through my favorite field. I'm drinking a bottle of Colby Red and not at all concerned about the storm that's brewing. I'm also not aware of the missile that is coming straight at me. This is an image of the moments right before my assassination. The horses did it. I've always been very vocal about the unicorn rights movement, and the horses saw that I was becoming very popular, even among a small number of horses. They were also glad to be able to kill Kazaam too, because he was obviously very influential as well. More-so than me, actually. This is actually a painting of the assassination of Kazaam. I just happen to be in it.

I tried scanning the painting, but wow, did that turn out to look really shitty. I mean...the painting looks shitty enough without the scanner ruining all the colors.

-Dr. Tweenus Gonzo