While I Slept

I had this dream last night that I met Sarah Palin. It wasn't a wet dream like those octogenarian republican assholes get that make their year. I was, for some dumbass reason, hiking on a mountain with an unidentified friend when we came across Sarah riding a horse. I assume this is my subconscious opinion of her current tour. She's riding a horse/bus around, unexpectedly intruding on otherwise peaceful locations.

So anyway, she rides up and gives her phony hello. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it wasn't a straight "hello." It was "howdy" or some other thing that you would expect that her idea of real Americans would respond to. At the sight of her, I turn into the most sarcastic version of myself I've ever imagined. I run up and immediately tell her how amazing I think she is. In reality, I can be pretty sarcastic and dickish. I don't think I've ever actually been as much of a sarcastic asshole as I dreamed I was to Sarah Palin on a horse. Anyway, the horse disappeared (or she got off it, you know how dreams are...) and thanked me. And hugged me. My friend looked at me weird, like s/he (I really don't even know the gender of this dream-friend) didn't pick up on the sarcasm. The hug was repulsive. While it was going on, I tried to think of a way to humiliate her, or at least indicate to my friend my real intentions. And that's when the dream did what dreams do and changed to something else entirely. I was at UGA, but all the streets were lazy rivers like you'd see in water parks.

In the lazy river version of Baldwin St., I found an old geography friend who had purchased a few fish for whatever reason. A few girls nearby tried to convince him to let the fish swim around in the lazy river for a few minutes. They promised him they'd help him round them up, while I promised him they'd die in the chlorinated water. He agreed with me, but eventually caved to the pressure of girls in bikinis and let the fish swim to their death. I awoke shortly after helping him round up the fresh corpses of his wasted money..