Saturday, February 26, 2011

Big Flats 1901 - The Walgreens Beer

Tonight, after I got off work, I finally decided to go to the local Walgreens to see if they actually had the Walgreens beer. I had only heard a few things about it from friends, so I had to search google to find out the actual name of the beer, because I knew Walgreens would not be awesome enough to just name the beer Walgreens Beer. Obviously, they stocked the beer, or else I what I am doing right now would be something entirely different. In fact, I think it's fair to say they over-stocked the beer, but I guess an argument could be made for being able to purchase a pallet of beer and only spending a couple hundred bucks.

Anyway, I got a six pack and came home. I ate chili for dinner, which will likely prove to be a terrible mistake. While I ate, I again searched google briefly to get a rough idea of what people thought of the beer. All the reviews are terrible. Like it's the worst beer ever, but the price is so good that it doesn't matter. At 50 cents per can, you shouldn't complain. Well, that's where my major disappointment comes in. All the articles I read said it was 50 cents per can and 6 packs would be on sale for $2.99, but the one I bought cost $3.49. So, Walgreens, if you're reading this, I want my 50 cents back, or I want my seventh can. I don't care which.

Joking aside, after dinner I recorded a pog song and then prepared for cheap, shitty beer.

So the beer is called Big Flats 1901. It's probably a bad idea to use the word "flats" in the name of your beer since no one likes flat beer and reading "flats" every time you pick it up is going to make you think of flat beer even if the can isn't flat yet, but what do I know?

The beer is exactly what you expect it to be. It's like PBR. There's no need to go into the subtle distinctions of taste and aroma. It smells like cheap beer. It tastes like cheap beer. It is cheap beer. The first sip was not as bad as I was expecting. Then I opened up a bag of candy that I also bought (Sweet Tart Jelly Beans - the love of my life, only available between Valentine's Day and Easter) and the contrast totally ruined the taste until I stopped eating the jelly beans. The jelly beans are magical, and eating one or two, and then sipping this beer (and probably any beer really) will make the beer taste like a giraffe took a shit in it. Damn giraffes. I'm finishing up the second can right now, and then I will finish the remaining four while I watch more episodes of Sons of Anarchy.