I think I'll join the army

The army still goes to other planets to exterminate the native species and then half-heartedly try to colonize the place only to find that no, we can't live there because the atmosphere and gravity make extended living there painful for humans, right? I want in on that racket.

Apples

I would like an apple right now. And some apple juice. And apple sauce. And apple pie. Seriously. Give them to me.

I pull fire alarms.

It's important to test them frequently to make sure they still work.